Today I have to start walking on my surgically-repaired foot after 6
weeks of non-weight-bearing. I am
afraid. It hurts. I don’t like it. I feel weak.
Even though the doctor says it is ready for weight, it does not feel
secure and I have trouble believing him. When I put my foot down on the floor and it
hurts, it causes me to suddenly believe that getting rid of that discomfort is
the most important thing. It feels
urgent. It feels scary and risky. I want to stop trying, and get on my
now-comfortable and now-preferable knee scooter and just keep zooming around
rather than slowly and painfully hobbling along.
Today I am also studying the temptation of Christ in Matthew.
When Jesus was tempted, he was put in a place of weakness (hunger) and scary
risk (the pinnacle of the temple) and opportunity for ill-gotten reward. His trust in the Father’s Word as primary and
fully dependable was being examined and tried.
Both Jesus and the devil quote scripture during that
interaction. The devil mis-uses scripture
during that time of temptation, essentially telling Jesus to manipulate God
with Psalm 91:11-12, but Jesus catches on to what Satan is doing. It is interesting that the scripture that
Satan misuses to tempt Jesus does, in fact, come true at the end of the time of
temptation when the angels minister to Jesus.
What does this passage tell me about my own inordinate fear
of physical risk or weakness? I think it
means that risk and weakness are not as fearsome as I imagine them to be. They are not to be the controlling factor in
my life that they so often are. Though
it is not the case that God will spare me all physical pain and temptation, it
IS the case that God will CARE for me like he cared for Jesus, sustaining me
and binding me up physically afterwards.
But, as Jesus makes clear, these physical events are not the primary
realities of my life. Worshipping and
serving God according to His Word is primary and fully dependable.
I can try out this truth and prove it, by forcing myself to walk on my foot despite my feelings of weakness and discomfort; by taking the risks
that He calls me to in the knowledge that He will care for me. Psalm 91 is not only for Jesus, but for “whoever
dwells in the shelter of the Most High”(v.1).
That includes me. In this Psalm, I
am promised rest, salvation, refuge, shielding, deliverance from fear, safety,
guarding, and victory. I will be spared
the punishment of the wicked. Yet, Jesus did have to go through the discomfort of the temptation. I
also will still have troubles (v.15) but God will be with me in them and God ill
show me his salvation. This truth exists both
in the already and the not yet. Already
accomplished and not yet fully manifested.
But there is a lot of already that can be tasted here and now, if I am
willing to live on every word that come from the mouth of God. And if I am willing to just put my foot down.
