Backtracking

Ephesians 1:19-23

18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

The sermon Sunday made it definitely worth going back to this passage.

Some nuggests from the sermon:
-Overall theme of Ephesians: Cosmic Reconciliation
-The church is the most significant and beautiful place in the world. Christ has been exalted to the supreme place in the universe, and what's going on in the church is the heart of the action.
-The church is not peripheral to the world; the world is peripheral to the church.

I often live as if being a Christian is somethng that is a private option for people, sort of a sideline, not to be brought out overtly in my public or work life, or my everyday commerce. In fact I am uncomfortable when people are 'too open' about their faith at work; or I cringe and draw away. Now, there is such a thing as speaking inappropriately -- however, if what Kurt said about this passage is true, then I must remember that there is no place that the truth of Christ is not relevant and even ofprimary importance!. So -- athough every expression of my faith would not be appropriate in every situation, there is an appropriate expression of faith for every situation because Christ is over all and in all, and I am primarily a follower of Christ whether I am at work or at the store or at home. An appropriate expression may be in certain actions or in certain words, and possibly it is verbal more often than I have thought. But mainly I need to absorb the idea that the workplace is not 'over' Christ, nor are modern ideas of social or political correctness 'over' Christ. Therefore, although it makes me uncomfortable, it may actually be appropriate at times to ignore conventions and speak out. Social approbation is nothing compared to the possibility of whetting someone's appetite for Christ, and letting them know that I am someone who is willing to tell them about him. I need to be ready and willing to give an account for myself and my actions at all times, even to random people when the opportunity arises. The more I do that, the more they know that Christians are all over the place, which might be an encouragement to seek God.

Discouragements of a long-time Christian

I am bothered, over the last few years, by how routine it has become to consider myself a Christian. I do not feel as if I am plagued by unbelief; yet I don't see a lot of identifiable fruit resulting from my belief. I still serve regularly in the church, and feel as if I sincerely want my service to glorify God. At the same time, I do things as a matter of habit and routine, fulfilling my responsibilities but not terribly aware of the work of the Spirit in what I am doing. My relationships seem shallow and I feel as if I am cordially liked but basically inconsequential to others. My thoughts center on myself and my immediate family, but not much on others outside of that group.

Two things are the immediate cause of this line of thought. First, a comment from a sermon on "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." It was stated that to hunger and thirst for righteousness means that you would rather die than not have it. (Not at all the same thing as simply 'preferring' righteousness.) And I realized that most of the time I do not hunger and thirst for anything in that all-out way. Even those things that I do desire strongly -- mostly selfish hopes for myself or my family members, and the desire for some of my famlily members to know Christ -- I have hidden from myself out of fear of disappointment. When they surface, I find myself crying and mourning and pleading for mercy but without much hope. And I don't feel much passion for righteousness, even though I do agree that it is to be desired.

The second thing is a passage in the book "L'Abri" by Edith Schaeffer, which I will type in here since I do not own the book and would like to be able to refer back.

Page 156-157 (excerpts)
"People often say they want to "experience reality", or to "experience contact with God, or with the supernatural...What they want is something that can be "turned on" and felt, loked back on and remembered. But they also want a lot of freedom in the use of their lives, as far as rest, recreation, and work goes. Most people want their ventures to be limited to nine to twelve on Sundays... There are some who are not Christians who would like some sort of a supernatural experience, including the excitement of contactin God, if He exists. But they are NOT willing to examine the evidence and come to Him in the way He has appointed. There are others who are Christians, who really almost envy the answers to prayer that they hear about, but they want specific answers to some specific requests without the rest of their lives being changed in any way. They would like some prayers answered in some realms, and they would like to know what it is like to be "led" by God's direction in certain aspects of their lives. They may even present two alternatives to God in their prayers, but they push the rest of the possibilities away. We are very conscious of this because the inward battle to be honest before God when one asks "show me Thy will" is a very real struggle. It is so easy to clutch to oneself certain things which really erase the whole request, and annul it. This is not only true at a time of crisis, but is true at any time one asks to be shown God's plan. Many Christians want the excitement of a reply from God, but not the pain of the struggle.....it would be a totally unfair picture to go on relating incidents of answered prayer without a constant reminder that much is involved. The whole person is involved in being a Christian. The whole life is involved in living in contact with God. But real life is involved, and the whole of eternity is involved in your conclusions and decisions concerning these things in this life."

So I wonder whether I am one of those Christians that is fundamentally holding back, and if this is at the root of my buried emotions and lack of fruitfulness. And I wonder when I became this way (or if I always was). I see that I do not read scripture most days, so I guess I must admit that I do really have an ear to God. I see that I have very little self-discipline, in that I start a 'program' (of Bible reading, of dieting, of exercise, of writing or thinking or creating) and it peters out after just a couple of weeks or even days.

This is not the behavior of someone hungering and thirsting after God and his righteousness.